Meeting Jen Hatmaker

So I just returned from Woman of Faith and people keep asking... "So how was the conference?"  I grin and smugly say... "I met Jen Hatmaker!" and some nod knowingly at my evident excitement and others say "Who?" and to those I say "Do you even know me?"  Beside the above epic picture, this one was also taken.

 

To which I say that Christine Caine was talking about me when she explained her reasoning why she avoided women's conferences for years and stayed in youth ministry.  That and "Don't wait, Urinate."

Ok, ok so back to the story.  So I was standing in line and running over the five million things I'd like to say to Jen.  Really, so many avenues to cover in my short 1 minute, meet and greet?  Which one should I go with?

My admiration as an avid reader and wanna be writer?  She weaves the story so well, keeping you laughing then leaving you pondering.
Laughing: Worst end of the year school mom ever
                  Not a fan
Pondering: The Christmas Conundrum

The adoptive parent side, where I give her a fist bump for keeping it real in all those blog posts?  Her words have encouraged me many times.  And then casually slip in..."So you think you could possibly perhaps guest post on my blog sometime, because that would be epic!?"
 Encouraged:
Fighters
 Keeping it real:
How to be the village 
After the Airport
The truth about adoption: One Year Later
The truth about adoption: Two Years Later  For us, this introduced a season of fear. Will they resent us? Will they blame us one day? Will they twist away from us with unresolved grief? Will they be healthy? Did we do the right thing? We’ve compounded their losses and it feels muddier now than it did on Day One. We are not getting this right, and it matters so much that we get this right. 
          Yeah, I just wrote about this... the fear... "You aint no leading lady"

Or should I convey a few things from the church leadership side of things?.... where I say I think your thoughts on the church are spot on and I am living much of your story a few chapters behind.  "Interrupted" was practically a biography of my life these last two years.  I get this... I get that God is doing a new thing.  Just ask my friend Christie how uncanny it is.  I'm telling you it is a God movement. 

Or should I go with the  "I love Africa" and orphans convo?.... where I thank her for the 7: experiment which was the perfect detox program when I returned to America.  Then I tell her I briefly hated her during the month I gave up coffee.  She did sign my 7: book so that is cool.  It will go into my adoption time capsule. 

The last one and the comment I should of went with.... "So anytime during this weekend, did God tell you to give your cute boots to a new friend?  Because sometimes I know God has you give up your boots" Ha ha...

Did I say any of those?  Well, in my defense I was totally thrown off when she asked me how to spell my name.  I did not rehearse that.

So I wasted my few meet and greet moments with rambling that went something like this:
    "I'm a fellow ap, adopted from the Congo, your cool, I'm the stalker in your in-box who e-mails you way too often just to get the thoughts out of my head"

Exit line thoughts: stupid oopid introverted idiot, for once could you please get the words from your head out your mouth?!  But before I could hang my head I spot Mr. Brandon Hatmaker, just hanging out in the hallway.  I read his book as well: "Barefoot Church" and so not wanting to miss an opportunity I walked over and asked why he wasn't selling his book at the conference?  We talked church/adoption for a bit.  My cool factor doubled. 

So yeah, the Hatmakers and I are legit friends now.  Just saying.

I texted my husband who endured the months of my 7 experiement and he laughingly wrote back:  "Did they invite you to be on their reality TV show?"

No.  No they didn't.  But maybe someday they will call and invite us over for coffee and we can talk about church planting. 

Friday Feature: I will go! 5 ways to Be the Body

I want to introduce you to the Darling family.  Tiffany used to be a Fuller, like me.  She is an original and I am just a married in one.  :-)  Just so you know we are not related.... not by earthly terms anyway.  However, we are sisters in a different realm. 

I "met" Tiffany in an era where we were just entering the blog world, being moms, loving our children, and sharing recipes.  In fact, I won my first ever blog giveaway, a storybook Bible, from her corner in the blogosphere.  I don't think I have won a giveaway since.  Adoption, Africa, complete undoing had not yet blipped on our radar.  Little did we know, years later we both would travel to Africa and bring home sons.  Little did she know that her blog, testimony and story would be a catalyst in my own adoption journey.

I followed her story to Ethiopia and back as they adopted their first son.  I watched and read as they fell in love with a street boy named Habi. I joined with them in prayer as they fought to bring him home legally because he was already a son in their hearts.  This most recent chapter has me reeling.  It is one of complete and utter surrender.  I watch it unfold before me with a sacred beauty that can only be God divined.  And well, I love divine moments if you haven't noticed.

The Darling family is willing to surrender all, give up everything and follow God's call to the mission field of Ethiopia.  Please watch this video as they recap and share their story.  This is the Gospels of today people!  Be part of it.




Will you please join me in this rally call for the Darling family in one of these ways?  For after all, are we not the body?

²⁷ Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.

One: Will you pray about supporting them with a financial gift so they may go and minister to the least of these? 

Two: Will you sign up to be a prayer warrior as they continue on this amazing journey that God is scripting through their willingness to be empty vessels?

Three:  Would you consider sharing this video with your village?  I know many of you share my passion to promote, uphold, show love in action as we rally together for causes of our hearts.  A simple share on your blog or social media raises awareness to how the body of Christ is moving and how they can be a part.

Four: Will you go like their awesome facebook page and join the journey at Mercy Branch Inc?

Five: Would you consider purchasing an amazing photo gift through Then & Now Doubletakes?  A great gift for an adoptive family this Christmas.  A then and now photo is ONE picture that displays two separate images.  An idea for a gift would be a referral picture of the adoptee and then the second picture one of that precious child smack dab in the middle of that family picture.  Or you could do your wedding day or a senior picture from baby to graduation, the possibilities are endless.   A portion of the sales will go toward supporting the Darling family in their ministry in Ethiopia.

Example for photo gift idea:

A Then and Now Doubletake is one photo with two separate images. Depending on the angle you are viewing the photo determines the image you see. - See more at: http://thenandnowdoubletakes.com/#sthash.CFJX2p72.dpuf

                                                      Check it out here ------> Shop with a cause

Hint... Hint... The giveaway happening at 150 facebook fans just might be a gift certificate for #5 option above.  

A Then and Now Doubletake is one photo with two separate images. Depending on the angle you are viewing the photo determines the image you see. - See more at: http://thenandnowdoubletakes.com/#sthash.CFJX2p72.dpuf

You ain't no leading lady

This is the post that I don't know how to write.  I know it is a post I need to write.

I can hardly find the words to share because to tell you the truth I find it nearly impossible to write words about an experience that I am still in process with.   I've attempted to give you a few glimpses into the struggles---> 9 months, 12 months of adoption, 16 months in, but up to this point I did not have the capacity to do more then scratch the real issue that has plagued my heart ever since I returned home from Africa with my precious boy.

To tell you the truth, even with all that I read (and that has been a ton) nothing can prepare you for the moment when your worst fears seem to be lodged on a torturous repeat cycle.

I'm not writing out this part of the story because I have regrets. I firmly resonate that adopting was/is one of the most beautiful gifts I have ever experienced/am experiencing earth side.  The mystery of the echoes of beauty in all the broken is a story I refuse to put down.  However, not only was I unprepared for the tragic twist of the plot I was seriously confused as to the character I would play in this story.  Let me explain.

Truthfully, I thought I'd be the heroine in the story.  Maybe not at first, but eventually.  The mom who would unconditionally love my son into healing.  I was equipped for this role.  I spent over a year preparing for the in-country audition.  There was all my knowledge I'd gleaned from numerous adoptive parenting books.  This includes but is not limited to techniques on attachment & bonding, how to organize adoption paperwork, educating myself on the issues of SPD, RAD, grief, identity, what to expect, what not to expect, what to tell your friends and family to expect etc... and of course an in-depth study of the culture of the DRC.  I think you get the picture.

To ensure that I would live up to this leading role I made sure I had access to the tools that an adoptive mom would need.  I had surrendered personal expectations, so I thought.  I had a good group of supportive and praying friends and family.  I surrounded myself with people who "got it" in real life and online.  I rehearsed scriptures and prayed my guts out.  I was committed to do anything and everything to give my son what he needed.  I was prepared to lose friendships, be misunderstood, not leave the house, and put my 110% into this child.

And I did.  I barely made it through two months of grieving that left me raw, but I made it.  I kept pushing when the going got tough.  I thought if I could just get a year under my belt, I might be able to relax a bit.  I would love him until he liked me.

It didn't matter what I did, what technique I used, he was not following the script.  I was definitely not his heroine.  If anyone was, it was his daddy.  The daddy that he would wait anxiously for at the window, and when he came home, he would wrap into a bear hug.  I loved seeing them bond over wrestling, rough housing, playing outside.  I rejoiced in it at first.  Until I realized that my leading role was "Mean Mama".  Resentment began to build.  It wasn't that Daddy never disciplined, because he did.  However with dad, it was never personal.  With mom, it was.

Some where in those days of insecurity the fear pushed hard and whispered, "You failed!"  Not once, but over and over again.  "I thought you were a good mother.  I thought you were called to this role?!"

The fear held in the hurt.  Eventually, I succumbed to my minor role as "Mean Mama"  I accepted I'd be rejected over and over.  I let it become personal, because no matter what I did, he would never choose me.  I'd keep teaching, doing sensory activities, correcting him when needed but I was simply going through the motions and I was numb inside.  The show was still going on but I was behind the curtains weeping. 

If there is one thing that I have ever, some what prided myself on - it is I am a good mom.  I love my kids.  Not that I am perfect, but motherhood has brought me so much joy.   I may not be good at a lot of things, and seriously stink at a lot of things -- but a lot of my self worth was wrapped up in being a good mom to my kids.  Suddenly, I couldn't even do that right.  It was a devastating low. 

If that wasn't enough, then we started Pre-K and suddenly the glaring truth was made perfectly public to everyone.  It didn't matter the teachers were with me, for me, helping me.  All my hurt was telling me was that they were judging me and it was just too much.  I couldn't handle it.

I quit fighting for my son. I was tired and emotionally spent.  I just didn't care anymore.  I decided he had won.  He didn't want a mom, so I wasn't going to be one.  He wanted a cook and a housekeeper.  That is what he would get.  That sounds so harsh, horrible I know.  I am shamed to write it.  It was how I felt.

I am thankful that I didn't stay in that horrible place for long.  Out of desperation I crawled into the lap of my Father, and poured out all the pain, disappointment, jealousy, resentment, insecurity and fear.  I prayed and asked for forgiveness, because I had so much to learn about loving as He loves.  As I surrendered he started to write a new act in our story.  He rewrote the cast of characters.

Leading Role:

The Healer of the Heart - God

Minor Role:

Day by Day, Prayer warrior, covered in grace mama: Tessy

We're in this together, got your back dad: Craig

He explained to me that He was writing the script, and because of that, and that alone, I had nothing to fear.  It didn't matter what dramatic twist may lay ahead because He was in charge of the story and how it ended.  In that truth, I was set free.

We are still navigating through some rocky waters as we adjust to school, new teachers, new routine and new boundaries.  I am also seeing him trust me more.  It took so much pressure off the poor boy when I accepted him exactly where He was at instead of pushing Him to be where I wanted him to be.  There is still hard days, but I am learning how to share more, be more honest, and even if it sounds dumb, name it so I don't allow fear to creep back in.

So though I ain't no leading lady, I am becoming quite content in my minor role.  I'm more of a warrior then a heroine.  Warrior's get bruised up sometimes in the fight, but they keep fighting.  So if you feel you have been in battle, I encourage you my friend to keep fighting.  The wounds will heal and you are not alone.  Our children are worth fighting for!

These smiles are why....

One Last Challenge!

All five children plus a sixth one below have been sponsored!  Thank you! 

There is still some children in Goma that need sponsorship, so feel free to out give my goal and "like" Mwangaza's facebook for updates.

Absolutely stunned and blew away that we met our goal to sponsor every single one of the pygmy children for school!  Thank you.

There are a few more children who need help.  I found out that only a few of the children from the Goma area that I worked with last year had been sponsored.  Well, it is really hard for me to say I won't help when presented with these adorable faces. 

So I am going to throw out one last challenge!  To sponsor these five children for school.  School starts Sept 2nd so we only have a few days left!  My son Zalen Moise who was adopted from the Congo is five years old.  For every year of his life, let's give back to another child.  One boy even shares his name.

Thank you for helping me see this out!  Digging deep and putting love in action!  Make sure if you want to sponsor a specific child that you put that in the comments when you donate.  Thank you!

I have been sponsored!  Thank you!

Lidy

I have been sponsored!  Thank you!

Gemima

I have been sponsored!  Thank you!

Aimerance

I have been sponsored!  Thank you!

Moise

I have been sponsored!  Thank you!

Fazili

Back to School Campaign

All the children in this group have been sponsored! 

Thank you!  We are still needing some donations for sponsorships in the Goma area - so if you feel led please keep giving what you can.  I will try to get a new post up about these children soon.

I haven't thrown out a project for awhile, so here we go.  Last year many of you, my friends, family, and adoption community joined with me through Mwangaza's Back to School campaign to sponsor some amazing kids in the Congo.  Through a joint effort we were able to raise $$ for each child I listed in my post.  That is because you all are awesome sauce!

It is that time of year again.  I have a really special group on my heart as I helped design their sponsorship cards.  Their stories and dreams touched my heart.

These children are Congolese pygmies and live in a village near the rain forest.  They still practice many of their native tribal traditions.  It was a challenge to get to them and track them down for photos but Mwangaza is dedicated to reach out to this group.  This is the first time the children of this community will have the opportunity to attend school.  9/10 have been sponsored for school so far, two through another organization.

Will you help me get the rest of them sponsored?!  Sponsorship for a full year of school, a school kit and uniform costs $145.  That is a one time donation for the entire year!  We had many of you co-sponsor one child.  $10 here and $20 there and it really adds up when we work together. 

Here is the first of three that need to be sponsored... If we raise enough for one of them I will add a new card to this post.  When you make your donation please note which child you would like your donation to go towards in the comments.  

Please share this with friends and family -- Working together we can make a big difference in the life of a child.

I have been sponsored! Thank you!

I have been sponsored! Thank you!

 

I have been sponsored! Thank you!

I have been sponsored! Thank you!

I have been sponsored!  Thank you!

 

I have been sponsored!  Thank you!

I have been sponsored!  Thank you!

 

I have been sponsored!  Thank you! 

Readoption Complete

From this...

To this...

And now Moise Mawa is Zalen Moise Fuller! Readoption complete.

Just a side note:  He has been ours legally before we even brought him home. This is what you would call a readoption. A readoption (though not required in MO) allows us to obtain an adoption decree and birth certificate from our state. Readoption also ensures that Zalen has the full rights of inheritance. We also legally changed his name as well. 

Thanks for celebrating with us!

P.S.  We are at 118 fans -- We are growing the community share by share!  Keep sharing and when Divine Moments reaches 150 likes I'll be doing another give away.  

Friday Feature: LoveMore Foundation

Hi friends,

  Well, it is Friday Feature time once again!  I would like to share with you one of my favorite non-for-profits that is working in the DRC, Love More foundation.  

  Katie was kind enough to do a Q&A with me about her foundation.  After the airport and seeing all that I saw in Africa I knew I could not sit around twiddling my thumbs.  I knew that I needed to continue to help.  One of the ways that I have been able to do that is through non-for-profits like Katie's that are doing amazing works of love in the Congo.  

  I hope after reading you will moved to serve.

  Tessy

     What is the mission of your organization, LoveMore Foundation?

The Love More foundation a 501(c)3 was founded to love more by serving the women and children of impoverished nations with basic needs, education and sustainability. (focusing on the Democratic Republic of Congo and beyond).

What inspired you to start this non-for-profit?

We went. We saw. We wanted to help. After our first adoption, we realized that adoption wasn't ever going to be the whole answer to the orphan crisis. We began to feel our heart tugged towards finding other solutions that would help improve the life of orphans and the women who are their mothers. 

What is unique about your foundation compared to other non-for-profits?

Our foundation is running on a volunteer basis and 100% of public donations fund our projects. Invested, engaged and accountable partners on the ground and in country are the basis for all of the work we will do.  Confirming these partners are ethical and reliable will be part of our constant effort in country.  We are committed to working with ethical partners and are committed to documenting our funding well. If a partner uses funds in an inappropriate way, we will stop all funding.  We believe by supporting project, orphanages and missions that are ethical will allow them to flourish and hopefully help discourage unethical organizations.  

What advice would you give for anyone else considering to start a non-for-profit?

First, travel and experience the country and culture. There is so much that can be learned from the internet and others experiences, but without in country experience it's hard to fully understand. It's also imperative to have trustworthy, ethical people on the ground that can be trusted to use funds for their intended partners. Second, find reliable counsel. There is much legality behind non-for-profits and you need to make sure that you are doing things the right way. Being a 501(c)3 comes with checks and balances and you want to make sure that you have everything covered for your own personal reassurance, but also for your donors. Finally, be committed. 

Can you tell us how we can help LoveMore Foundation to hit the ground running?

 It's been so exciting to see the beginning projects of the LoveMore Foundation develop. We are so excited about our direction and mission and are excited for others to join us on our journey. One of the best ways to help us hit the ground running is to share our vision and mission with others. The more exposure we have, the more impact we will be able to have on the women and children. So for starts, click "like" on facebook and be willing to share our vision and mission with others. Second, help us fund our projects. We've got some exciting projects coming up, but without donors help we can't make a lasting difference. 

How can donors keep updated on projects that they donate to?

The Love More Foundation is on facebook and on the web at lovemorefoundation.org. We will also be working on sending out periodic newsletter directly to our donors.  We at the Love More foundation are an open book. As a 501(c)3 we are required to document our works well. So for instance, we are currently working to fund an additional property at an orphanage. Before funding is turned over, we will be requiring documentation including the purchase price and deed. We are more than willing to share this documentation with our donors. If we purchase mattresses, pictures will be proof of purchase, etc. We want our donors to feel a sense of ownership and connection and are excited to make their donations come alive.

How can people donate to LoveMore Foundation?

Donations can be made via paypal on our website at lovemorefoundation.org or
To Donate by check: Please make check payable to the “Love More Foundation”
and send to: Love More Foundation, PO Box 235, Westfield, IN 46074

Do you have any ideas of future plans or ways you will expand?

Our long term goal is to begin a boarding school similar to what can be seen at villageprojectafrica.org focusing on education for the least of these, sustainability through farming and development of a women's community where education and life skills are a priority.