Zalen's 4th B-day- 7: possession reflection - June Blog Break

Before I get into my 7: possession reflection -- I must share a few pictures of Zalen's very special 4th birthday we celebrated a few weeks ago.  We had a Spiderman theme going on.  It was a very special celebration and friends and family spoiled him.  He loved all his gifts and I was very thankful for the new set of summer clothes since he has so quickly grew out of the 4T stash I had for him.   What a fun day of just celebrating this special boy who has stolen so many of our hearts with his great big hugs and beautiful smile.

Also-- PRAISE REPORT!!  Had his Dr. appt last week and his thyroid reading was NORMAL.  I am thankful for answered prayer.  Everything else checked out fine-- though he is still anemic.  His levels did show significant improvement so we are just going to continue to give him his multi-vitamin and continue to keep his diet full of iron rich foods.  We are confident given a bit more time and he will back to where he needs to be.  No more Dr. appts for awhile except for a few more shots at the end of July.  Thank you for your prayers!  They were answered.

I just have a couple days left of May which will conclude my 7: possessions challenge.  I got rid of quite a few items, a lot of clothes, and all my scrap booking supplies.  I am not sure how successful I was at making this challenge personal.  I didn't really have the opportunity to give away anything of too much value to help someone else.  I did give away some items instead of selling them hoping that they would be a blessing to others, but it wasn't anything major.  Though I didn't give away any significant item, God did open my eyes up to a few different areas where I could give and challenged me to be generous.  A few times with our money and a few times with my time.

I was also reminded several times of my needs vs. wants.  Our washing machine broke a few weeks ago.  The part to fix it was going to be $100 or more we thought at first.  My first thought was - "Yes, a perfect excuse to get that front load machine I've been wanting."  When my husband found a place that sold the part needed refurbished for about half the price.. there sat my need vs. want.  Those front loading machines aren't cheap.  I already had dreamed of my amazing new machine which would make my domestic chore of laundry pure bliss.  I could picture myself doing bigger loads giving me more time in the day -- yes there I was sitting and sipping an ice tea, feet up, magazine in hand as my new machines conquered the world.  My dream crumbled as God checked my heart and I relented to my husband that I didn't "need" a  new machine, that we could easily fix the one we had.  As I was tempted to pout my mind brought up images of the woman at the orphanage doing loads and loads by hand in tubs and buckets and once again I found perspective. 

I am excited to wrap this challenge up with our yard sale fundraiser for Kaka this weekend.  I hope we are able to get rid of a lot of stuff and make some mula for this great building project.  Thank you to all those that are helping with that and all those who donated items.

This will be my last blog until July.  June will be media challenge so I am taking a break from blogging.  I will continue to write but it is always good to return to a good smooth writing pen and the pages of one of my beloved journals every once in awhile.

Areas where I am cutting back...
#1 No facebook
#2 No TV
#3 No blogging
#4 No reading blogs (will only be checking e-mail when the kids are not awake)

Those are my weak areas.  We do not do gaming here.  We own an ancient X-box and will hook it up once in awhile out of pure boredom but for the most part the only games I play an occasional words with friends on facebook.  My children play games on the internet once in awhile -- but mainly learning games.

I have a love/hate relationship with my phone.  If I felt I could just trash it for a month I would gladly do so.  But that is not feasible.  I don't text a lot either.  Just planning things and working out details of when and where.

I am looking forward to media challenge month.  It will be good to unplug.

7: Possessions---Yard Sale..June 1 & 2

The last days of May are ticking away quickly and I am feeling the wonderful glow you get after purging your home of "stuff".   I have definitely met my quota on items to get rid of between the clothes, scrapbook supplies, misc. items etc....  I have personally given away some items instead of selling them in hopes that the items would be a blessing to certain people.  

I am getting excited about our upcoming fundraiser yard sale that we are having which has turned into a combined effort of our small group and our church pitching in items as well.  Our yard sale will be June 1st and 2nd during the city wide garage sales so I am hoping for a great turn out.  All proceeds made will go toward building the school at Kaka in the Democratic Republic of the Congo!  If you have read my blog for awhile or know me personally you know how much this project means to me.  So if your local, please stop by and shop we will have something for everyone.  Don't need stuff?  We are still taking donations and we will need help cleaning up what is left Saturday at 3:00 p.m.  

I am currently on a journey to read through the Bible in a year.  On my reading plan through youversion.com I have been in 1st Samuel.  (I love reading the stories of David-- I relate to him so much in that I have such a heart for God but in the same breathe can be such a screw-up!)  The story that I have been reflecting on is when the ark was stolen from the Israelites by the Philistines.  Eli upon hearing the news, fell backward and broke his neck, and died.  His daughter-in-law announced "The glory has departed from Israel" (1 Sam. 4:22)  

Here is what stood out to me: The people had more trust in this physical object then they did on God.  God took away the ark so that the people would trust in him and show that His presence rests in our relationship with him not within an object, even one as sacred as the ark of the covenant.   

How many times do I find my comfort in objects?  What I own...how much money I have....how I am able to provide... etc...  I believe a lot of security is found in our money and the "safeguards" we think we have due to it.  Or maybe our issue is wanting objects for that security.. If only I had....   To take it a bit farther a lot of our distractions from God our found in what we buy with our money... TV, video games, books, computer/internet, cell phones, iPads, etc....  I am focused on a lot of media because media is next month's challenge.  

I loved this quote that I came across in my devotional: 

"It is not the things you have it is the thing that have you which are the problem."

A quick inventory of how we spend out time, money, and resources easily show what has us most consumed.

I am learning the beauty in less and also that His grace is sufficient and he will supply my every NEED -- (not wants mind you) so I can relax and rejoice in that.

Some scriptures that have stood out to me through my 30 day reading plan: Generosity: 30 Days Toward Biblical Generosity.

Micah 6:8 But he's already made it plain how to live, what to do, what God is looking for in men and women. It's quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor, be compassionate and loyal in your love, And don't take yourself too seriously— take God seriously.

Matthew 6:20 Stockpile treasure in heaven, where it's safe from moth and rust and burglars.21 It's obvious, isn't it? The place where your treasure is, is the place you will most want to be, and end up being.

In June I will be unplugging quite a bit for media month.  I will try to post one more entry before then. 

4-ever

Today my sweet, sweet boy you turn 4 years old (though we know your a bit older then that)
In a few days, the calendar will mark your 4th month of being home
4-ever I will love you....  4-ever you will be my son

4-of my favorite pictures of you that I stared at over and over again

 

The very first picture I ever seen of you - The long awaited referral picture

 

Loved this happy picture of you since most of the time you looked so grumpy in your pictures

 

This was your usual face in most of the pictures I received.. so serious you were. 

 

  This picture was taken on the day that you received your photo book.  :-)  

You were very happy to know that your family was waiting to come get you.

4 months ago I was getting to know you for the first time.  Here are four things that I first noticed about you.

1. You were funny -- it took no time at all to get you laughing as you stole the Wal-Mart sack from your dad's back pocket.
2. You stick out your tongue when you concentrate/play.  The first time you drove your little match box cars around, I noticed this trait of yours and it was so cute
3. You were very smart and loved to learn.  My favorite memory of ours during those first days of bonding was when we acted out all the animals and made all their sounds from your picture book.  We laughed and giggled as we played together and I remember how astounded I drank in your smile and laughter desperately after dreaming of it for months and months.
4.  You love to help.  You love to help and be a part of things.  We realized this as you tried to help us carry things (on your head - as you had been so taught) down the stairs at St. Annes.  But, I think we were most surprised when you came in and helped Daddy do the laundry in the sink and bucket at St. Annes.  You still continue to like to be apart of things and help out.  

4 songs that will always make me think of you -- and would go on my album of my journey to you...
    (links will take you to the song)

1. I'm Letting Go by Francesca Battistelli -- Just letting go and following God's plan for us to adopt-- was a crucial step in our process, just saying yes to God - It was awesome when she sang this song in concert--my heart cried a bit but the rest of me jammed out and rejoiced at the Blessings of Letting Go)
2. Mighty to Save by Laura Story -- When I first researched adopting from the DRC there were several obstacles in my way--I had too many kids, the agency wasn't taking new clients, etc... But no matter how hard I prayed my heart always went back to Congo.  I started to pray that God would move the mountain in my way and give me the desires of my heart.  When He answered my prayers Aleigh and I sang this song and praised God for being a "MIGHTY, Prayer Answering, Amazing God!"
3. This Love by Mandi Mapes --This love, this love is the deep kind
   you’re my baby, you’re my sunshine
   I’ll hold your hand, be your biggest fan
   and I’ll love you all of the time
   ❤ Zalen Moise ❤
4. Amos Story by Aaron Ivey -- Listened to this song so often as I waited...

4 things that I love about you

1. I just love your smile and your laugh.  To make you happy, makes me happy
2. Your famous mimic of my "mom look"  There were several times you broke through my tough mama exterior by mimicking me by raising your eyebrows and widening your eyes as big as they could be.  I guess that is look like when I am being "stern"  LOL  When you do it, it always cracks me up.
3. When you dance - and how you hold your arms up.  It is the cutest thing ever!!
4. Your big hugs and sweet kisses -- and when you call me mama with that cute french accent of yours -- it never fails to melt me. 

4 of your most used English words

1. Hallo - Bonjour (French)
2. Stop - Tea-ka (Lingala)
3. Yes - Eeh (finally after about 4 months you answer Yes, instead of eeh which is the lingala word for yes)
4. Mama, Papa, Avery, Aleigh, Ryan, Joel, Baby (ok that is more then 4-- but for the first month it was so funny b/c he would get everyone's names mixed up.  It took him awhile to figure everyone out.)

4 things you love to do

1. Play cook - if your inside you love playing in the play kitchen and with the fake food but your favorite place to cook is outside.  You love mixing up grass, rocks, sticks, etc.. anything you can find.  I always get to taste taste you and Ave's creations.
2. Push around the stroller - We have an umbrella stroller we use for my niece Kinnly and you love to push it all around the yard.  Always with your little tongue hanging out.
3. You also love to push Ryan around on his bike.  I think you just love pushing things.
4. Unloading the groceries.... You still get excited every time we carry in the bags of items/food we have bought from the store.  I am reminded always how blessed and fortunate we are for the provisions that we have.  

My favorite memory from this month was taking you to your first movie and it was even in 3-D.  You were reaching out trying to touch the images and were so cute as you punched at the bad guys with your Hulk gloves.  

 I love you Zalen Moise Fuller and I am so thankful God picked us to be your family. 
Nalingi yo mingi - I love you lots and lots and lots :-)

Dear Birth Mother

Dear Birth Mother,

I can't but help think of you as Mother's Day approaches.  I wonder what you look like and what features of yours does Zalen have?  I like to think that he has your laugh.  I love to hear him laugh.  And oh that stubborn streak he has... I wish you could whisper to me the secret on how to wage against it more effectively.  Did he get that from you as well?

I wonder if you are still living or if circumstance and tragedy took your life?  What road did you have to walk?  I can't but hope that some day we will meet in heaven and share stories of how God crossed our paths.  I have so many unanswered questions and if you still live I am sure you do as well.  I wish I could let you know that your son is safe and loved but most of all happy.

I would ask you about the day he was born and what you named him.  I wonder what dreams you dreamed for him?

I would tell you that I made a promise to love your son always and forever and I would do my best to raise him to be a kind God-fearing man.  I would tell you that I could never replace you and understand that my gift is the result of a sacrifice that was made....to give him up.  I will cherish this gift of motherhood you have given to me... and will not take it lightly.

So many thoughts and emotion swirling in my head...  and words seem inadequate.  I thought of you today and think of you often.

Love,
Me  

Ice cream for Breakfast - 7: Possessions & Ramen Noodles

So often I under estimate the power of influence I have as a mom, as a parent.  I know the old saying "Actions are louder then words" but often my words are just loud and my actions less then par.  Between our adoption journey (saving every penny) and then this 7: experiment against excess my children have been exposed a lot to discerning what we need and what we want.  They have seen me go from despising leftovers and not caring much about food being thrown away to me crying over the waste as I scraped uneaten food into the trash.  

After I finished up my 7: eating challenge -- Aleigh came up to me and said she wanted to do the challenge as well.  I had encouraged the kids to give up something when I was doing the challenge but none of them seemed willing so I left it at that.  You can imagine my surprise when Aleigh out of the blue decided she was doing her own food challenge.  She was determined to give up sweets for 7 days.  If you know her sweet tooth you will know how big of a challenge this was.  She plunged in totally committed and yesterday was her last day of no sweets.  To celebrate her victory she had ice-cream for breakfast.  I interviewed her this morning about her thoughts on her 7: challenge.  My heart melts to see her on her journey to draw closer to God.

 What in the world does Ramen Noodles have to do with my current 7: challenge which is getting rid of possessions?!  Let me tell you, I missed it.  I missed the Divine Moment.


Ok, for this month the ultimate challenge is to get rid of seven items a day.  My motivation is that the items I am getting rid of will go into the yard sale we will be having on June 3rd.  All the money raised at the yard sale will go toward building the school at the Kaka Orphanage.  I am very excited to raise $$ for the school as this is a very personal project.  Thanks to an amazing youth group from Milton, IA and some amazing friends -- we have already raised $500.00  (Want to know more about the school?  You can watch the video here: A deeply personal project of where the school will be built and my connection to it)

If that wasn't enough motivation .. then I watched the video that Jen posted on Bibledude.net and she challenged me even further.  She challenged us to make it personal.  To really open our eyes and look for people in need.  I have been praying for that opportunity.  


I believe I missed it.  I was sitting in the van waiting for Craig to come back with needed grocery items to make our meal.  This is our system because it is so much easier for one of us to stay in the car with all the kids while the other efficiently grabs the goods.  As I sat there, I watched two Mexican guys, a father and son walk to the car parked facing us.  The only thing the father had purchased was a big package of Ramen noodles.  I am not saying if you eat Ramen noodles then you are "in need" - but hey I survived on them when I was a poor college student.  Yet even as I type this I have some stock piled in the cupboard just because they are a quick meal.  A friend pointed out that maybe it was the only thing he knew how to cook.  The reason for the purchase of the Ramen Noodles is really not the point, but I have to admit they made me notice.

The point is...

1. I noticed.  Even though I had 4 crazy loud distractions in the back... I just happened to notice these two men.  
2. I felt that pounding in my heart and my mind was racing that I needed to go over and ask them if they needed anything.
3. I felt so compelled to go talk to them I started talking myself out of it (this is just crazy 7: thoughts happening -- not really God -- just me making things up in my head, they will think I am insane, what in the world would I say to them etc..) 

Due to an extreme fear of talking to strangers -- I justified that I didn't have time to talk to them.  By the time I would unbuckle and get out of the car they would be pulling out.  I felt relieved at this logic and glance backward to check on the kids dismissing the crazy thoughts.  When I glanced forward again, to my chagrin they were still there.  Sitting in the car, talking and waiting.  I had to come up with a better excuse.  As I was still arguing with myself and trying to deal with the fear I felt in approaching complete strangers a third guy passed by the van and got into the vehicle.  I felt relieved, yet utterly disappointed as they pulled away.  


I wrestled with this scenario I had faced the rest of the afternoon.  Did I miss a moment?  Did God really want me to go over to that car and ask those men if they needed anything?  What if they would of felt insulted.  Maybe they had a plenty of $$ and I was just reading into things... The thoughts swirled like a whirlpool.  


Fast forward the story a bit.. I am reading the Bible through in a year.  Right now I am reading in Joshua.  Do you know what scripture repeats over and over in the story of Joshua?  "Be bold and courageous!"  Yep.  But it gets better.  

I have had a book on my list for awhile now called "Sun Stand Still" by Steven Furtick.  Since that passage about the sun standing still is in Joshua I decided it was time to purchase the book and read it along with my Joshua reading.  

God may as well hit me in the head with a hammer because the clarity was just that strong.  I started to read the book and then I got to the section titled: THE RAMEN NOODLE REVIVAL.  BAM! (#hammer to the heart) I am completely, 100% serious.  Steven, the author, goes on to tell about how he fed his fellow students and eventually led several to Christ because he opened a door when he met a need.  Let me share with you a small excerpt:

"God poured out his Spirit and did something remarkable on our hall that year. The experience will probably keep its place as one of my top-ten audacious faith memories for many years to come. But the transformation didn’t start with a sermon. Or a Bible study. Or dramatic signs and wonders. It started with ramen noodles and Dr Thunder. Because when you’re in college, Dr Pepper and Mountain Dew might as well be Cristal and Dom Pérignon. So you settle for Mountain Lightning. And ramen noodles are your manna." --Furtick, Steven (2010-09-21). Sun Stand Still: What Happens When You Dare to Ask God for the Impossible (p. 60). Random House, Inc.. Kindle Edition.   


Lesson Learned:  When you pray audacious prayers you better be ready to be bold and courageous when God decides to provide you with the very opportunity you asked for.  


I'm not going to beat myself up too much -- what done is done and I learned a valuable lesson.  I am even more determined to keep my eyes and heart open to what God wants to show me, teach me -- or who it is he wants me to minister to.  


As for the possessions I am giving up....


So far I have three garbage bags of clothing I am getting rid of.  I already purged my closet once during my clothing challenge.  Most of the 3 bags are from the children's closets.  I haven't even got to the husbands closet yet.  I am definitely going to end up having way more items then 7 a day (especially with the clothes) so I am not really focusing on the 7 number - but more categories.  For example - Week #1 - I focused mostly on clothing.   This week I am getting rid of my scrapbook supplies.  I am going to all digital layouts.  It was hard to get rid of a lot of the stuff I have compiled over the years.  I am not selling them.  I will be giving them away to a friend who really enjoys scrap-booking but doesn't have a lot of extra income for the hobby.  I hope it will be a blessing to her.  

Also, I was challenged by Dan at Bibledude.net to read through youversion.com's 30 day reading plan: Generosity: 30 Days Toward Biblical Generosity.  I am already using youversion for my Bible reading plan so it didn't take much convincing for me to take on this addtional reading.  A few verses that stood out to me in the last few days are:

And if I hear the neighbor crying out from the cold, I'll step in-I'm compassionate.

The people are bringing more than enough for doing this work that God has commanded us to do!"
There was plenty of material for all the work to be done. Enough and more than enough.

(Message Translation) 

So at this point in the challenge -- I keep coming back this question -- "Will I step in?  Am I compassionate?"  or will I shrink back and miss a Ramen Noodle God moment?

Notes from the Summit IVVV- Church & Orphan Crisis

8 advantages the church has that no other organization has to catalyze and end the orphan crisis.

1. We have the largest participation.  2.3 billion believers - 1 out of every 3 people are a member of a church.  More people attend church on one weekend then all people that attend a professional sporting events throughout the entire year.  The church is the largest organization on the planet.
2. We have the widest distribution in all the world.  First thing in most villages is a church.  We are in more countries then the United Nations.
3. We have the longest continuation.  The church has been involved in feeding the poor, taking care of the sick & orphans way longer then any government/program.  Governments come and go-- but the church
4. We have the fastest expansion.  60,000 people come to Christ everyday.  If you want to eliminate a pandemic you have to have something bigger then the pandemic.
5. We have the highest motivation - He answered: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" Luke 10:27
6. We have the strongest authorization.  Great Commission - “Go therefore and make disciples...”
7. We have the simplest administration - 1 Peter 4:10 -- Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms.  You have a gift - use it well - go serve.  You got the talent -- YOUR IT!  You got the burden - You do it!
8. We have the greatest conclusion.  We know how it is going to end.  Spoiler Alert: WE WIN. 

Challenge - Fall in Love with the Church!!

Orphanage is not in the Bible.  Taking care of the fatherless is!

Notes from Rick Warren session at the Summit VIII

After hearing this I am just very curious -- I wanted to ask you, my readers a few questions.

1. How is your church involved in doing something about the Orphan Crisis?
2. What is the average attendance of your church?  How many children in your church have been adopted?
3. Does your church offer any assistance to families that are interesting in adopting?
   

7: Coffee and Cheesecake for Breakfast

TODAY IS MAY 1ST - why all caps? - because I got to DRINK COFFEE for the first time in 30 days!  My eating challenge is done.  Bring on month 3!

I decided to celebrate the big day in style and made cheesecake yesterday so I could eat it for breakfast.  Not just any cheesecake, but my signature raspberry cheesecake made with raspberries I picked myself.  In fact I was probably picking those raspberries the day I got the call about our referral.  No joke!  I was in the raspberry patch when I got the call from Cyndi about a little boy.  It was on Father's Day.  You can read the entry here. I remember it like it was yesterday :-) 

So what was my first taste of coffee like after 30 days?  I am pretty sure the heavens parted and angels sang Hallelujah!!  It was that wonderful.  :-)  The wonderful like quadrupled a million more times due to the fact that I was up and down all night long taking care of sick kiddos.  So coffee/cheesecake breakfast began at 5 a.m. 

My hilarious friend Christie (who had to put up with my random coffee addiction confessions) wrote this message on my facebook wall and I read it this morning:
   Dear Tessy,
I have missed you so. It's been too long since I've been on your lips. I hope you find me as enjoyable as you remember. Please don't ever push me away again.
   Love,
  Coffee

This is what I wrote her, uh I mean coffee back:
  Dear Coffee,
I am so glad we are back together again. The sound of you percolating this morning brought passion to my day. As the smell of you started to filter through the kitchen I inhaled deeply as memories of our time together flashed across my mind and it made me smile. I know our time apart was difficult but the saying proves true that absence does make the heart grow fonder. You have never tasted so good upon my lips.
  Love,
  Tessy

Needless to say, my husband got jealous over my returned love note commenting that I never think of him that way.  

And before you think I have problems let me share a small paragraph Jen wrote in the book about her coffee temptations:
   I escaped narrowly by chewing gum like a quitting smoker. I should tell you that every time I’ve been in Sprouts, I’ve put my nose directly on the glass cases of bulk coffee beans and inhaled like a deranged weirdo. I mean, deeply inhaled. For at least ten seconds. Nose to the glass. The only possible way I could act more disturbing is if I ground up some beans, made a line with a razor blade, and snorted it in the middle of aisle 9.  -- Hatmaker, Jen (2011-12-19). 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess (p. 34). B&H Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.   

Sorry to throw you under the bus there Jen, but I had to make myself feel better after my husband basically accused me of cheating on him with coffee.  :-)  So for anyone thinking about embarking on this little experiment -- Just don't smell the coffee, don't do it.  It will absolutely not help.  Don't snort it either!!   

Ok quick commercial and FYI: I have been working on my blog a bit here and there... and I have added a page where you can e-mail me if you have any questions/comments or just want to say Hey!  I also added a fundraising page.  I have been getting a lot of e-mails lately concerning this so I tried to compile some of my responses into this page.  I also hope to start doing a Fundraising Feature every once in awhile on Friday from some guest writers -- so stay tuned for that!!  Ok, back to regularly scheduled program.

The project to go along with this month was to raise awareness about National Malaria Day and get 25 people to donate $10 to buy a mosquito net at Nothing But Nets.  I do believe we ended up with 26 nets pledged to be purchased!  Thank you to each of you who helped with project.  

This challenge was h.a.r.d.  In my previous post I wrote about my countless temptations and how flesh-like I felt.  I realized a lot about my eating habits.  I realized that I have a strong resistance to self denial.  I have also come out with a new thankfulness for the food/drink items I do enjoy.  I learned and experienced fasting in a way I never have before.  In this last week I made a discovery.  I realized that my new comfort food was prayer.  Instead of throwing some popcorn in the microwave to later dip in some seasoned velveeta cheese sauce I was sitting with Jesus, asking him questions listening, searching Him out.  Instead of sitting on the couch and getting lost in a TV show with a bag of Twizzlers I was writing in my journal, getting lost in worship music as "thankfulness" overflowed my heart.  

Somewhere in this past month and through this process I regained my JOY.  I have been pretty transparent on here about my struggles since returning from Africa.  It is hard to put into words but through this past month and the eating challenge I gained a new perspective.  Jenn said it well - 

     "As I reduce, He is enough. As I simplify, He is enough."

Somewhere in there the fog lifted and I realized that no matter where I am at now and no matter where He leads me in the future -- He is enough & He will be enough.  Period.

Month 3 has begun - Possessions -- Get rid of 7 items each day!!  I think I can do it.  I'll check in soon.