Thursday, July 7, 2011

Just keep swimming... Just keep swimming....Just keep swimming



On my slightly stressed out facebook status a few weeks ago my husband commented "Just keep swimming" and I smiled. He so gets me! Up to this point, I have been doing fairly well with my balancing act of life but this past week I had an attack of Mrs. Grumpy Gills. It seemed that all of sudden life was intent at knocking me off my intent to fully lean on God through this entire journey. I felt pulled in about twenty different directions and my emotions turned tidal. In my humanity I was desperately looking for an easy button, and there is no easy button in adoption.


I am not writing this to complain.  In fact I have felt quite guilty for even feeling this way because I am very aware that my anxieties are nothing compared to some adoptive moms that I have been lifting up in prayer every night who are desperately seeking a miracle to get their children home.  So I kept stuffing it, hoping it would go away and I would wake up and feel renewed/refreshed.  It didn't happen.  I kept waking up more tired....the toll of living in two different continents and not feeling like I am doing enough in either place. 

****UPDATE!!!!!!  THANK YOU JESUS (seriously jumped up and down and did the hula-my kids think I am nuts!!) After writing this entry I read the AMAZING news that God did indeed work a miracle for the Nunemaker family.  As I prayed Tuesday night God questioned my doubts at Him providing for the pleas of those I was praying for.  My feeble prayers clung to the verse in Matthew 14:31 -"Immediately, Jesus reached out his hand and caught him.  'You of little faith,' he said 'why did you doubt?"  I started praying for miracles instead...for the Nunemaker family, for the Hatmaker family, for the Askew family and for our financial concerns.  So I praise God today for opening the skies!!  How awesome you are GOD!   

Financial pressures.....Health concerns with Miss Mae.....A run in with a few critics who were more then willing to share their opinions.....My to do list growing like one of those Grow-In-Water animals....And still so much to do and plan....more paperwork to be filled out.....homework to do....  The pressure so intense, I was ready to be thrown in a mason jar and canned.

At my moment of weakness I received a timely card in the mail, a phone call with a friend who told me that a day of renewal would come, and I spent a good deal of time telling God how I honestly felt instead of telling Him how I wanted to feel.

He gave me this verse..........

"How blessed is God! And what a blessing he is! He's the Father of our Master, Jesus Christ, and takes us to the high places of blessing in him. Long before he laid down earth's foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son."
--Ephesians 1:3-6 (The Message)

Among the paperwork and to do's and pressures of the daily day to day grind, I had lost my focus.  I had unintentionally diminished the amazing story of adoption into piles of paperwork. 

The quiet whisper.....
"Time to look up my child, do you hear the message of my heart?  My focus was YOU.  When I redeemed you there was no easy way.  It required my life.  I experienced pain and affliction beyond what you could ever imagine, but my focus was always YOU.   To adopt you into my forever family and what pleasure I took in this.... Do not lose your focus, my child"

He never lost His focus....because He loved me.

Today I am writing to refocus to take pleasure as I plan to bring my little boy home despite the obstacles that maybe lurking ahead.  I may not know how the road will wind in the journey ahead for us but I know who I am walking the road with, and that is what counts.  When I falter and fail, as I am sure to do I am thankful for the grace that covers me.

So what are we going to do now?  Everyone let's say it together.. "Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming!" And I would like to add a second verse, "Just keep praying, Just keep praying, Just keep praying"


Right now we are trusting that God will work in a mighty way concerning the financial end of things -- We ask that you pray with us.  It is very important to the timing of everything to get the money we need for the first payment of our Foreign Fee in the next few weeks.  I am sooooooooo thankful for how He has provided already- I am sincerely humbled by the Body of Christ -- feeling so loved and supported by the Hands and Feet of Jesus in the people around me. 

(Please see our Fundraising/Prayer Requests Page for more details on how you can help & pray - and read answered prayers as well)


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2 comments:

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  2. and at somepoint in that nemo movie, they jump into a powerful current that takes 'em where they need to go. i can't remember what it's called. i must be related to dorie ;). was it the EAC?

    hoping that soon... emotionally, physically and financially, HE will sweep you off your feet with the EAC or something like it! after all, moise is His idea! He'll finish what He's started...and bring your son home!

    hang in there my friend! love and hugs.

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