Due to many sleep deprived evenings, I think it is time to begin journaling this new adventure that God has before us.
There is no particular moment when God specifically put adoption on my heart. It wasn't just a one time eye-opening experience. It was a series of divine moments and experiences where God began to mold my heart, preparing me for the evening of Monday, November 15th, 2010.
A few years back I went on a mission tr
ip to Ecuador that changed my life. My eyes were opened to a life far different from my comfortable American one. My eyes were open to something far bigger then "me" and my world. My perception of life as I knew it had been altered forever and my heart irreversible changed. I believe that this mission trip was the first stirring of my heart that God expected more from me.
A few years back I went on a mission tr
ip to Ecuador that changed my life. My eyes were opened to a life far different from my comfortable American one. My eyes were open to something far bigger then "me" and my world. My perception of life as I knew it had been altered forever and my heart irreversible changed. I believe that this mission trip was the first stirring of my heart that God expected more from me.
Shortly after the birth of the twins my heart knew that my family was not yet complete, but yet I knew I did not want to have any more children. A strange conflict of emotions. For some reason when you have twins, people are really curious if your going to have any more children. :-) I was asked countless times, "So are you all done?"
Craig would always be quick with his reply, "Yes, we are done", raising his eyebrows at me in an attempt at a silent lecture.
My emotions on the subject continued to clash together. It was in these conflicted emotions when God begin to stir my heart on adoption.
It was a subtle awareness that crept in through prayer and reading God's word. I toyed with the idea of adoption in my mind, but the impossibilities weighed out over my feeble faith. At a Woman of Faith conference in March of 2009 another seed was planted deep in my heart by the testimony of Steven Curtis Chapman. But even as my eyes were opened to adoption I knew that Craig had to be on the same page as I was. A simple conversation where he listed all the practical "why it was not feasible for us to adopt (mainly financial) showed me that we were not on the same page. I left the conversation with a discouraged heart. Thankfully, I am a stubborn person, so I kept praying that someday his heart would connect with mine and God would keep working on him.
So you can imagine my excitement when one day he came home and told me God had really stirred his heart on adoption through a Focus on the Family program he had listened to on the radio. I wish I could say that after that..we got on our knees and prayed and began our adoption journey, but that is not so. (I am amazed at God's patience with us) Though Craig's heart was stirred, he still had his list of impossibilities. Looking back now, I realize that God had planted a seed in his heart that He would grow in his own time.
Defeated again, I began to retreat from my dream to adopt and decided that maybe my story would be just helping people to adopt in anyway that I could. During this whole stirring of my heart process one of my closet friends attended a concert where both her and her husband felt God tug on their hearts to adopt. I have jealously fed off of her adoption journey, but not with bitterness, with much rejoicing. In fact, God used their journey of adoption to bring back my hope. Once again I began to pray. They left this morning for China to pick up their little girl. I am currently anxiously waiting for an update.
God also used the blog of a blogger friend of mine "A Moment Cherished" to bring back my hope but more importantly to not give up on the call that God had placed on my heart. Many times when I would read her blog, my heart would wrench and tears would stream down my face. I am still in awe as I write this, how a complete stranger to me (yet a sister in Christ in God's family) played such an intricate roll in the stirring of my heart, all because her passion for adoption spilled out into my heart.
A few months ago the strain of my heart, the desire of my heart to adopt was so strong that I felt it may break. I decided I couldn't read her blog anymore, because each time I read it I felt I wasn't living out the purpose and plan God had for me. The last blog I had read of hers left me weeping in the shower for an hour. But God always knew the desire of my heart, for He had placed it there.
So then the story gets a little funny. Well, I guess that is the word for it. The things God has to do to get through our thick skulls. I was reading along in my blog subscriptions when I spotted the title "Orphan Sunday" by another blog friend My Meanderings. I was immediately curious because I was a fairly new reader to her blog and did not even know that she was adopting. The weird thing is...in that blog entry was a picture of her and my blog friend from "A Moment's Cherished" (you know the blog I had decided I couldn't read for awhile) I had no idea they even knew each other or were connected in anyway. Ok, maybe you think this is crazy, but it was God's way of saying "You can't hide from me, You can not run from the message of your heart. Trust me and I will not fail you." I finished reading the entry "Orphan Sunday" by My Meanderings....tears streaming down my face. I read "Our Pastor said that only 2% of people who consider adoption actually go through it" I though my heart literally had broken in two. But maybe that is what God wanted...to take my brokenness and use it so I would always remember that God is the one who works in His own perfect timing. That His name would be glorified in all of this.
In my brokenness I went to small group that night. We watched this video on being a hero in your own life story. With every word, I wanted to curl into a ball and sob. The video ended and we started to talk. It was then that God's presence poured into the room. Suddenly my husband was saying crazy things. In a room full of people we were having a private conversation. We talked and prayed and listened as God's word and message penetrated our hearts. To make a long story short...we returned home and began to pray and talk and during that time God put us on the very exact same page. It was in His perfect timing.
So, yes we are adopting :-) We are currently researching agencies and soaking up as much information as we can. There is a lot we are unsure of, but we do know we want to adopt internationally and that we want to adopt from Africa. We are currently waiting on some doors to open and just ask that you pray as we begin this most amazing journey to bring our little boy home. Yes, a little boy, possibly in the 3-4 age range.
Thank you for your prayers!
I also wanted to share this video:
It was a subtle awareness that crept in through prayer and reading God's word. I toyed with the idea of adoption in my mind, but the impossibilities weighed out over my feeble faith. At a Woman of Faith conference in March of 2009 another seed was planted deep in my heart by the testimony of Steven Curtis Chapman. But even as my eyes were opened to adoption I knew that Craig had to be on the same page as I was. A simple conversation where he listed all the practical "why it was not feasible for us to adopt (mainly financial) showed me that we were not on the same page. I left the conversation with a discouraged heart. Thankfully, I am a stubborn person, so I kept praying that someday his heart would connect with mine and God would keep working on him.
So you can imagine my excitement when one day he came home and told me God had really stirred his heart on adoption through a Focus on the Family program he had listened to on the radio. I wish I could say that after that..we got on our knees and prayed and began our adoption journey, but that is not so. (I am amazed at God's patience with us) Though Craig's heart was stirred, he still had his list of impossibilities. Looking back now, I realize that God had planted a seed in his heart that He would grow in his own time.
Defeated again, I began to retreat from my dream to adopt and decided that maybe my story would be just helping people to adopt in anyway that I could. During this whole stirring of my heart process one of my closet friends attended a concert where both her and her husband felt God tug on their hearts to adopt. I have jealously fed off of her adoption journey, but not with bitterness, with much rejoicing. In fact, God used their journey of adoption to bring back my hope. Once again I began to pray. They left this morning for China to pick up their little girl. I am currently anxiously waiting for an update.
God also used the blog of a blogger friend of mine "A Moment Cherished" to bring back my hope but more importantly to not give up on the call that God had placed on my heart. Many times when I would read her blog, my heart would wrench and tears would stream down my face. I am still in awe as I write this, how a complete stranger to me (yet a sister in Christ in God's family) played such an intricate roll in the stirring of my heart, all because her passion for adoption spilled out into my heart.
A few months ago the strain of my heart, the desire of my heart to adopt was so strong that I felt it may break. I decided I couldn't read her blog anymore, because each time I read it I felt I wasn't living out the purpose and plan God had for me. The last blog I had read of hers left me weeping in the shower for an hour. But God always knew the desire of my heart, for He had placed it there.
So then the story gets a little funny. Well, I guess that is the word for it. The things God has to do to get through our thick skulls. I was reading along in my blog subscriptions when I spotted the title "Orphan Sunday" by another blog friend My Meanderings. I was immediately curious because I was a fairly new reader to her blog and did not even know that she was adopting. The weird thing is...in that blog entry was a picture of her and my blog friend from "A Moment's Cherished" (you know the blog I had decided I couldn't read for awhile) I had no idea they even knew each other or were connected in anyway. Ok, maybe you think this is crazy, but it was God's way of saying "You can't hide from me, You can not run from the message of your heart. Trust me and I will not fail you." I finished reading the entry "Orphan Sunday" by My Meanderings....tears streaming down my face. I read "Our Pastor said that only 2% of people who consider adoption actually go through it" I though my heart literally had broken in two. But maybe that is what God wanted...to take my brokenness and use it so I would always remember that God is the one who works in His own perfect timing. That His name would be glorified in all of this.
In my brokenness I went to small group that night. We watched this video on being a hero in your own life story. With every word, I wanted to curl into a ball and sob. The video ended and we started to talk. It was then that God's presence poured into the room. Suddenly my husband was saying crazy things. In a room full of people we were having a private conversation. We talked and prayed and listened as God's word and message penetrated our hearts. To make a long story short...we returned home and began to pray and talk and during that time God put us on the very exact same page. It was in His perfect timing.
So, yes we are adopting :-) We are currently researching agencies and soaking up as much information as we can. There is a lot we are unsure of, but we do know we want to adopt internationally and that we want to adopt from Africa. We are currently waiting on some doors to open and just ask that you pray as we begin this most amazing journey to bring our little boy home. Yes, a little boy, possibly in the 3-4 age range.
Thank you for your prayers!
I also wanted to share this video:
Send Gifts To India Online
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