Stay on your toes

I have tried to write a post for several weeks now. I can't find the words. I've been so angry. Angry at the injustice. Angry at the ignorance. Angry at the complacency. It is not fair.

I'd rather be angry then deal with the sadness and frustration of feeling that my hands are tied a continent away.  I'd rather be angry then acknowledge the guilt once again of all that I have while others suffer so. 

I grieved for them, the lives lost due to not having clean drinking water. I wept as I scrolled down and took in the beautiful innocent faces. I groaned for the families that will be haunted forever by the phone call that held the tragic news. How do you even start to put the pieces back together? How do you wrestle with the whys without it crippling you? I trembled as I read the raw posts of those families walking in the valley, yet testifying of a grief mingled hope because they walk in faith.  I drew away from the words humbled because they are finding grace sufficient.

This is just one orphanage.  I can't even wrap my mind around the voiceless suffering that is undocumented.   

I grieve for those in the wait, who are suffocating in the red tape of a maimed system.  For those sticking it out day after day, praying the mountain will be cast into the sea.  For those who have returned home to once again sit and wait.  The empty beds that clutch the heart.  The pause excruciating.

If I grieve so, as only a spectator, I can not fathom the reality of it for those in the trench.  I will continue to pray.  I will be the body.  That does not seem nearly enough, but I wanted to say it anyway. 

"If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it."

Even as all this was bearing upon my heart, an unseen battle was raging in my own camp.  I found myself in my own trench, battling through prayer for those I love the most.  Failing in flesh, but clinging to hope. 

Through these emotional rages & desperate pleas, several thoughts settled in my soul.  The plain stark truth of Ephesians 6:12.
   12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

How easily I forget the invisible realm.  Yet, the word that started to stitch the heart was this:

^31-32 “Simon, stay on your toes. Satan has tried his best to separate all of you from me, like chaff from wheat. Simon, I’ve prayed for you in particular that you not give in or give out. When you have come through the time of testing, turn to your companions and give them a fresh start.” (The Message)

I like the way the above version reads.  I am praying for you that you not give in or give out.  Jesus is trying to prepare Peter for the spiritual war ahead.  Even with the warning Peter has no clue to the twist that is about to unfold, the crucifixion.  Jesus knows the doubts this will cause.  How it will weaken Peter's faith to a point where he denies the very man he has given his life for.  Jesus knew all this.  How the twist would rock Peter's world.  Jesus knew that no amount of warning would prepare Peter for it.  He would have to simply cling to what He had been taught as the sifting took place.  After that, he would have take what was left, allow God to strengthen him through his weakness, and then go fight like never before.  

So many times I am overwhelmed by this world and the suffering in it.  I get bogged down.  I feel helpless.  It is easy to doubt that you could even make a dent against it.  If it is all for nothing?  Did Peter perhaps feel the same as he watched the events spiral out of control, not knowing the outcome? I think he might have.  Therefore the above words give me hope.  Do not give in.  Keep fighting!  You have the unfair advantage.  Jesus himself is praying for me, for you.  Does that not give you comfort?  The plan may take a drastic twist, and you may be shaken, but the redemption continues.  The gift, He uses our very weakness and strengthens us for His glory.  

Do not doubt or give out.  The battle rages on.  Jesus still needs prayer warriors and passion filled people who will continue to be His voice despite the cost.  He still needs those that are willing to risk all that they know to put His love into action.  He is waiting for vessels to empty of self and fear so that they can be launched to build the kingdom.

Stay on your toes, my friends.  Don't you dare start to think it doesn't matter.  It does.  He has called you and He has called me to keep being His voice.  I know some of you are feeling the cost as never before, but our Jesus knows.  He is praying you through it right now.  I believe it is with the same intensity he did in the garden the night before his death.   He knows what is at stake.  

I pray that the scriptures may begin to stitch your hearts as they have mine.  I pray that through your sifting you will remain faithful.  I pray that we will not grow weary of doing good.  For we are promised that in due season, we will reap, if we do not give up.


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