my passions. my heart. my focus.
i have been so blind.
self-centered - lost - focused on everything and anything that didn't matter
and totally aloof to what did
i thought i had it all wrapped up
in a nice box with a bow
all i ever dreamed of and more
really i did
a loving husband - beautiful children
a home - food - shelter
hobbies and friends
the "american dream" *throws head back in outrageous laughter*
then i started to pray a dangerous prayer
for God to empty me of myself
and fill me with Him.
i surrendered and said i wanted more.
even in my fear, my doubts
He answered.
when He opens your eyes
be warned - it hurts, it compels, it questions
it probes, it challenges
e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g
"I
am losing patience with a world so indifferent that they can stand by
and allow 12 million of God's souls to walk aimlessly through the
desert." - Jim Copple about the drought in Kenya
i am also losing patience to indifference
i just don't fit in anymore
they look at me strangely
they live dimly
i will not go back
Jesus said to be a LIGHT
you can't be a light if you're not burning
you laugh at the passage about hiding the light under a bowl
that is you
that is me
because your too... what
what exactly is your EXCUSE?
you have the unfair advantage!!
God said you did.
But you won't believe..
won't believe..
complacency robs
ministry dies
if your life is not about saving people
you have no life
no purpose
your excuses STINK
how does the Bible put it?
like a dog returning to eat his vomit?!
harsh.. so harsh.. so judging you want to say
say it
go ahead
who said I was talking about you?
i don't know how to be me anymore
i need more
i'm hungry
desperately hungry
desperately seeking
a stranger stares back
but I pray desperately
that He sees
a lump of clay
Beautiful and true. Keeping seeking His kingdom first.
ReplyDeleteTessy, It's Rhonda..........you visited me this morning (Sunshine on Four Oaks Farm at god-reprieve.blogspot.com), I am visiting you now......... . My heart is lingering in those same regions as are yours; hungry for more, longing to serve, hoping for more emptying and filling up with HIM and His purposes, uneasy about my comfort sometimes, uneasy about indifference and it's lulling. Instead of telling you how good I thought your post was, I will tell you that I am reading it twice. :) It is igniting (if I can say it that way) to see you own thoughts written out before you by someone you haven't known.........this is God isn't it? I love that He stirs us and we feel Him........and He encourages us on.
ReplyDeleteI saw my thoughts in your words and that encouraged me on today. :)
Rhonda